Marauders Mayhem
by Sprite Eyes
Summary: James looked at Sirius, still holding the diary which was open in front of him. 'Why didn't you tell me' he demanded, 'Why did you let me prank you so much' Sirius swept forward and knocked the diary from James' hands, eyes blazing in fury...
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

'GRYFFINDOR!'

With shaking hands, James Potter pulled the Sorting Hat off his head and placed it back on the stool. He made his way over to the allocated table. Sitting himself down upon the wooden bench he breathed a sigh of relief and, feeling slightly overwhelmed, he rested his forehead upon the table.

'Are you alright?' a concerned voice spoke up from across the table.

James lifted his head up and settled his glance upon the stranger, who was eyeing him most peculiarly. Unable to think of anything to say he merely grunted his reply.

The boy raised an eyebrow. 'I see…right,' he said. 'My name is Remus Lupin…I'm in Gryffindor too!'

James rolled his eyes, '_really,_' he with all the sarcasm he could muster. 'I'd _never_ have guessed.'

Remus flushed heavily, and turned away.

With furrowed brows, James turned to watch the rest of the sorting.

'Black, Sirius.'

James started with shock, as he saw a dour faced boy stalk towards the Sorting Hat. He had seen that face before…and he hadn't liked it.

'GRYFFINDOR!' The Sorting Hat verified loudly.

'_No_,' whispered James, hardly believing his utter misfortune.

Sirius came over to the Gryffindor table, dark eyes showing the boredom he felt he was undergoing. Moodily he looked for a seat at the table. Then, their gazes locked.

James tried to discretely hide the fact that there was space next to him, and failed miserably. With a small smile Sirius came over and sat down. He did not acknowledge James' presence; instead, he nodded to Remus who was still sat opposite James.

Remus smiled across at Sirius. 'I'm Remus Lupin.'

Sirius nodded his head. 'Sirius Black.'

They would have progressed from the initial introductions, only a tall man with a long sheet of silver hair had stood up and was signaling for quiet. James noticed, with a slight laugh, that the man had numerous CND badges pinned about his person, judging by the other strange looks that the first years were giving him, he hadn't been the only one to notice this.

'Welcome to Hogwarts,' he began dramatically. 'The students are reminded that the Forbidden Forest is strictly out of bounds,' the man's penetrating blue eyes rested briefly on James. 'And that my name is Professor Dumbledore,' he smiled, then turned his head to address the rest of the students congregated there. 'And now, to eat.'

Dumbledore turned away and sat down. James shook his head then turned to his plate mildly surprised to see that the blessed sight of food was welling up as if by magic before his eyes.

'So where are you from?' Sirius asked Remus.

Remus swallowed his mouthful slowly, 'Stratford-upon-Avon, you?'

'London.'

They both turned to look at James, just as he was about to speak, Sirius interrupted.

James averted his eyes to look at his meal, stabbing the roast beef viciously. He hated Sirius.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Remus followed the prefect up to the dormitory, feeling very pleased with himself. He had made a new friend, Sirius Black.

Remus was a shy person, and found it very hard to make new friends, so you can understand why he was so pleased.

He cast his happy glance around, and his gaze settled upon James. He didn't really know what to make of him. He seemed alright, just very sarcastic…yet, having received a very cold first impression he decided he'd leave it a while before he made friends with him, but then, being the nice person he was, and noticing how forlorn and lonely James looked, Remus chanced going over to him.

'Remus?'

Remus turned his head, greeted by the sight of Sirius.

'Where are you going?'

Remus shrugged and then looked over at James, 'I was going to go talk to him…'

'Why would you want to do that?' Sirius asked, raising his voice ever so slightly, so James could overhear him. 'He wasn't particularly nice to you or anything…'

Remus fidgeted uncomfortably, conscious that they were earning a few looks. Allowing a small sigh to escape his lips he spoke up, 'I guess…I just thought he was…'

'Thought what?' Sirius grinned, clearly enjoying making Remus squirm.

Remus sighed. 'I don't know.'

After the prefect had showed them the way to the dormitory, the boys all looked at each other, taking in each other's appearance. There was a heavy silence, shortly broken by a small plump little boy, with watery eyes and a pointed nose. 'I forgot my pajamas,' he squeaked.

Sirius and James both looked away, hiding a laugh at the boy's misfortune.

'Just sleep in your underwear, and tell someone tomorrow,' suggested Remus kindly, pausing in his unpacking to speak to him.

The boy's bottom lip began to quiver, and his eyes welled up with tears, his eyes darted around, silently begging anyone for a pair of pajamas.

'James has a spare pair,' Sirius said at once. He smirked at James. 'They have bunny rabbits on them, would you like a pair of bunny pajamas?'

James ground his teeth together. 'Shut up Sirius.'

'Aww, it looks like bunny pajamas are out the window for you…uhh…'

'Peter.'

'Peter,' Sirius dove into James' suitcase and pulled out a pair of red ones. 'It appears that James is too fond of them to lend to you, you can have these instead.' Before James could snatch them back, Sirius had chucked them at Peter.

'Is…is that alright J-James?' the boy named Peter asked nervously, clutching the pajamas to his chest.

James glowered at Sirius, who was smiling in a very goading manner at James, before nodding his head at Peter. 'Sure.'

Peter's pasty face lit up at once. 'I promise I wont rip them or anything, honest to God!'

James rolled his eyes. _What a drip, a complete and utter drip. _

Remus chewed his lip nervously, before climbing into his bed. 'Night all.'

They all murmured their good nights, before turning to get changed.

A button hit James on the tip of his nose. Wheeling around to confront the button thrower, he found himself facing Peter, who was looking at him with wide eyes, a button missing from the pajama top, which strained across his chest. 'I didn't mean to! Honest!'

'I'm sure James doesn't mind,' Sirius said.

James whisked his curtains shut and clambered into bed, his head buzzing.

_That fucking twat! How _dare _he go into _my _personal belongings! How _fucking _dare he?! That fucking twat! _

James turned onto his other side, through the crack in his curtain he could just make out Sirius' sleeping face, then his eyes settled on Sirius' suitcase.

_Just you wait Sirius Black, just you wait…_


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Quietly as he possibly could, James threw off his bed coverings and began rummaging through his travel bag. Finding a few left over chocolate frogs, he grinned and slowly began smooshing them so that they formed a thick liquid.

Once he'd done this, he silently stole over to Sirius' bed.

'I want a strawberry ice cream…. With a flake,' mumbled Sirius in his sleep.

James jumped out of his skin, nearly dropping the small vial of brown liquid. Looking up at Sirius, he breathed a silent sigh of relief as he merely rolled onto his other side and began snoring heavily, leaving James to 'work his magic'.

He rummaged through Sirius' open suitcase, and grinned upon finding all the school trousers. Holding the vial between his teeth, he pulled out all the pairs and began pouring the solution onto all the pairs, smudging them artfully…making it look like someone had had a little accident…

James glowered at Peter, who trembled, under his gaze. 'YOU WET YOURSELF? IN MY PAJAMAS?' he bellowed at the smaller boy.

'I-I d-d-d-didn't mean to!'

James' face flushed scarlet as Sirius gave him a very satisfied smirk. _Just you wait Sirius Black…_

Sirius pulled on a pair of trousers, not noticing the brown stain, then leaned against the bed post in a manner he seemed to find cool, cocking an eyebrow at James, 'Aww, does that mean you'll have to sleep in your Y-fronts and grubby vest again?'

James scowled heavily at Sirius. 'Do you want an ice cream _mate_? A strawberry one with a flake?'

This time, it was Sirius' turn to scowl heavily, 'Shut the hell up.'

James pointed at Sirius' trousers with a look of disgust; 'looks like someone took the phrase "follow it through" a little too seriously…'

Remus dithered between them, and then deciding the only way to stop them from having a set-to was to separate them. So with this in mind, he took Sirius' arm and made to tug him out the door.

'I'm not going out with smudges on my trousers!' Sirius snapped at Remus, jerking his arm out of his grip.

Remus rolled his eyes; already he could tell that this dormitory was going to have to lose someone. 'Fine, borrow a pair of mine whilst we clean yours out.'

'You're way shorter than me.'

'Fine, borrow a pair from James.'

James made a very peculiar scoffing sound, causing the boy with a name yet to be discovered to hurry out the room, casting a fearful glance backwards. 'As if,' continued James, caring very little about the peculiar glance he had just earned himself.

Remus sighed as he turned back to face Sirius, 'It's the stained trousers or the too short trousers I'm afraid.'

'Fine,' Sirius released an exasperated sigh and snatched a pair from Remus, grunting his gratitude, before leaving the dormitory.

Remus lifted an eyebrow at James and opened his mouth to say something, but before he was given the chance to, Sirius had marched back in and had yanked him out.

James turned on his heel to face Peter, who was stood there trembling in wet bottoms. Swallowing a sigh, James drew the curtains around his bed and got dressed.

'Welcome, to Transfiguration, the most complex field of magic you will study at Hogwarts.' The ageing woman gave the class a firm stare from over her glasses, perched neatly on the bridge of her nose. 'I am Professor McGonagall, deputy headmistress and head of Gryffindor house. Any tomfoolery in my lessons will lead to immediate removal. _Do I make myself clear?_' She fixed each and every single student present with a look so demeaning it made one's stomach clench.

Following her brief and somewhat intimidating introduction, she moved on to talk them through the syllabus that they would be going through that year, to James' disappointment they wouldn't actually start learning how to change objects from one form to another for quite some time. Leaning back on his stool, he ran a hand through his hair in an extremely bored manner, as Professor McGonagall went on to draw complex diagrams on the blackboard, before tapping them with her abnormally long wand, causing them to move around in all different directions.

'See here how…'

'Psst.'

Averting his gaze from the blackboard, James darted his hazel eyes to the left, seeing a very pretty red head tilting her head slightly at him.

'Yes…..?'

Leaning over ever so slightly, so McGonagall wouldn't notice, she whispered softly to him.

'Do you understand anything that she's going on about?'

A little surprised by the question, for he had expected her to be one of those fantastically smart girls who understood everything, he nodded his head slowly.

'Yeah…'

'So…what does she mean by "switching spells"?'

James grinned inwardly, he'd meant an acquaintance, and a very pretty one too. Flicking his hair back he gave her a concise whispered explanation, explaining exactly what they were when McGonagall looked up, and said the traditional teacher thing to say when a student is talking over them:

'If you think you can take the lesson better than me you're perfectly welcome to do so Mr – she checked her register Potter.'

James lifted an eyebrow at McGonagall, 'Well, maybe I can. It can't be that hard to memorise from a book.'

There was a resounding silence, and McGonagall's nostrils flared, the tip of her nose turning white. Just as she opened her mouth to say something, a particularly loud and, quite frankly, repulsive belch echoed around the room, causing a ripple of whispered giggles.

Disgusted, McGonagall turned on her heel to face the desks situated nearer to the front. 'Who is responsible for that _disgusting _behaviour?' she demanded.

When no one owned up she went to the front, her cheeks flushing red.

'Potter, on Monday evening at 7:30pm sharp, you are to come here and attend a detention.' Surveying the rest of the class with glinting eyes she cleared her throat. 'And the rest of you will be joining him if the culprit refuses to own up before the end of the lesson.'

There was yet another silence, disturbed only by the scratching of quills on parchment, as all present glanced across at each other, willing someone to own up.

'Miss?'

McGonagall looked up at Sirius, who's fist was in the air, checking her register she nodded.

'Yes Mr. Black? Notice how I say "Mr. Black" not just "miss".'

'Professor McGonagall then,' Sirius shrugged, before ploughing on. 'It was me, I belched.' He said it in a way that suggested he was proud of it.

There was a long silence.

'Detention, with Mr. Potter. 7:30 sharp.'


	4. Chapter 4

_**Author's Note: **Sorry about the last chapter, there was about a million typing errors, and I didn't realise FanFic didn't recognise stars, so that's why there's big jumps. So yeah…_

Chapter 4 The days drew on, and the animosity between Sirius and James didn't look like it was going to blow away, in fact, quite the opposite seemed true for the pranks they played on each other worsened by day. This resulted in them having several points docked from Gryffindor, and earning themselves several detentions together. 

It was with an immensely heavy heart and even heavier feet that took James to McGonagall's office at 7:30 on Monday evening. Knocking on the heavy oak door to alert her of his presence, he opened the door and shot Sirius who was already there a particularly dirty look.

'Right, you both know why you're here.'

James nodded his head in a non-committal manner, whilst Sirius answered brightly: 'Yes Professor McGonagall.'

'For your detention you are to scrape the mucus left by the Flobberworms off the desk, _no magic is to be used. _Just good old fashioned elbow-grease.'

James' nose wrinkled slightly at the thought, of all detentions…it would be mucus. From the look on Sirius' face, he was none to pleased about it either. 'Why?' Sirius demanded.

McGonagall fixed Sirius in a very steely gaze, 'I don't know what your idea of detention is, Mr. Black, but here at Hogwarts its known to be a punishment, and if that means cleaning up mucus from desks, then so be it.'

'Why should we?' James joined in, determined not to appear a goody-goody in front of Sirius.

'Because it is your punishment.'

'What? For belching?' Sirius half shouted.

'For displaying disgraceful and uncouth mannerisms,' her spectacles flashed angrily, 'do not undermine my authority, or I shall keep you here longer than I intended to do so in the first place.

The pair of them gave McGonagall identical black looks, before rolling up their sleeves and slaving away at the desktops.

Remus looked up from his Potions homework and smiled at Peter who was sitting opposite him. 'Are you alright Peter?' he asked pleasantly.

Peter nodded his head in deadly earnest and looked at the blank piece of paper in front of him, with the title scrawled across the top in fading blue ink.

'Are you sure?' Remus persisted.

'Um…I'm a _little_ confused,' Peter slowly admitted, underlining his title, only to find that there was no ink in his inkwell left.

'Here, you can share mine,' Remus said warmly, nudging his own inkwell towards Peter, 'and what are you stuck on?'

'I just don't get it,' Peter blushed heavily. 'I'm not stupid or anything, I just…'

'Alright, alright,' Remus thumbed through his Potions textbook and opened it to the appropriate pages. 'You just need to read through pages 64 to 69 and summarise in your own words.'

'What does summarise mean?' squeaked Peter, flicking his own book open and knocking Remus' inkwell over, and spilling all the content.

Bending down to clear up the puddle of blue ink, Remus looked up at Peter, 'to shorten.'

'Oh right!' a very peculiar form of a smile wiped across Peter's rat-like face. 'I can do that.'

'Of course you can,' Remus grinned as he sat back up, his hands noticeably inkier than what they had been just minutes previously.

They fell silent for a while, all that could be heard was the cackle of the lit fire, the scratching of their quills and people around them just talking.

'Excuse me?' a girl tapped Remus lightly on the shoulder.

Remus finished his sentence and looked up, 'yes Lily?' he asked.

'D'you know where James is?' she asked, running a hand through her dark red locks.

'He's in detention with Professor McGonagall,' Peter squeaked, dropping his quill at the mere excitement of talking to a girl.

Lily raised an eyebrow at him, but a sweet smiled graced her lips, 'Oh…thanks anyway Remus and…Peter?'

Peter verified this with a bouncy nod of the head.

'What do you want with him anyway?' Remus asked her.

'No, I was just wondering, the Common Room seemed very quiet…'

Remus laughed, 'true…probably because Sirius and he aren't shouting at each other.'

Lily joined in with the laughter, before returning to her friends.

'Remus?' Peter squeaked nervously.

'Yes?'

'Can we be friends?'

Remus smiled and nodded, 'Sure, I'd like that.'

Just do it Sirius 

Sirius shook himself mentally, clutching the wet sponge as tightly as he could without causing all the water to cascade over him.

_But look…his back is to you, and he's bent over…it would so get him back for staining your trousers…_

At the thought of getting his revenge on James, Sirius couldn't help but grin, and without thinking about it, he dunked his sponge into the bucket and hurled it at James, hitting him square on the arse.

James jerked up at once, whacking his head on the edge of the table, causing himself to fall backwards and land on his arse. Slightly dizzy and under the impression he was concussed, he got up and span around, picking up his bucket and throwing its content over Sirius, who ducked last minute, so the water splashed all over McGonagall who had picked this moment to walk in.

She stood there, dripping for a minute, looking down at her soaking form, before looking up and fixing James with a furious look. 'WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS TOMFOOLERY?' She shouted at him.

Sirius hurriedly turned around, shaking at the supreme effort of not laughing.

'AND IF YOU THINK ITS FUNNY,' she shouted at Sirius, 'YOU CAN JOIN MR. POTTER FOR A DETENTION HERE, NEXT WEEK.' Storming over to her desk she rummaged through a cupboard to write them each a detention slip.

James scowled at Sirius, of whom tears of laughter were streaming down his cheeks. 'You're so immature!' he hissed at him.

Sniggering, Sirius returned to wiping the tables, 'I'm not the one who wet himself…'

'I'm not the one who shit himself,' James retorted, anger beginning to better him.

Sirius scowled, and he spoke with dangerously smooth tones, 'Didn't anyone ever tell you that revenge is sweet _mate?_'

'Aww…do you want a little cheese to go with your wine?' James snapped back.

Sirius stood there, eyeing James warily, before turning around and sloshing the sponge back on the table and scrubbing and the desktop as though James' face was blemishing the surface and he simply wanted to wipe it out.


End file.
